I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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