OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
