yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
