Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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