I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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