That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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