I wish I could punch you in the face.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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