hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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