I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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