Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
