So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize