Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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