i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
