My nipple is on Facebook.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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