Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
