it wasn't lemon gatorade
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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