They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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