We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
