I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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