I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
