brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
