Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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