hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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