you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
