I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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