Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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