if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
