i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
