If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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