I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
