idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
