I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
