This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I want her autograph on my taint
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
