listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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