I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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