It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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