you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They have beer where we have blood.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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