Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
