ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
