This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Randomize
