I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
