Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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