And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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