why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
