dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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