Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
