bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
