suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We need to get me chipped asap
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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