FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
