So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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