The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
